I’m not ready to be a parent yet

The fact is……..you already are a parent to the child growing inside you.  However, you have the choice to parent the child you give birth to, or to make an adoption plan.  Both choices are honorable.  The choice you make depends on which option is right for you.

Many women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy think they couldn’t possibly parent a child at this time in their lives.  Yet, that decision doesn’t have to be made for several months. In the meantime, you can consider whether you are able to assume the responsibility of parenting.  At this point, you have several months to create a support system for you and your baby.  You have time to consider:

  • the support of family assistance
  • the emotional or financial support from the baby’s father
  • the financial support for yourself and your baby
  • the emotional support you will need to love your child unconditionally and put your baby’s needs first
  • the possibility of struggling to survive each day not knowing if your needs will be physically met for food, shelter, and safe relationships
  • the hopes and dreams you have for the child growing within you

Many single moms successfully parent their children, and grow into strong, competent parents.  They have a new-found sense of purpose, knowing that they are providing for both themselves and their child (or children.)  Many services are available to single moms, including childcare and scholarships.  If you are choosing to parent the child growing within you and you would like referrals to help you during pregnancy and beyond, call your local Pregnancy Help Center or go to http://www.pregnancycenters.org or http://optionline.org/get-help?view=map to check for a Pregnancy Help Center near you.

Some women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy truly love their child but feel they cannot successfully parent any child at this time in their lives.  They may know that they have limited or little support from significant people in their lives.  They may feel emotionally vulnerable and unable to take on the task of parenting.  Sometimes women haven’t been parented very well themselves, and feel at a loss as to how to go about being a parent to someone else.  Perhaps they want a two-parent family for their child, and in their current situation….that’s not possible.  Perhaps they are running in “survival mode” and are challenged just to take care of themselves.  Taking care of a child may be more than they are able to consider at this time.  Under these circumstances, it is a very loving, honorable decision to make an adoption plan for your child.  If you are undecided, remember that it is understandable and normal to feel a sense of conflict when you are considering what is best for both you and your child.  Many adoption agencies have adoption counseling available for you at no cost to you.  You will not be pressured to choose one option over another.  You can check your local phone book under “Adoption Agencies” to talk to an adoption counselor.

For further information on making an adoption plan go to www.bethany.org for a Nationwide Pregnancy Counseling Hotline, or call 1-800-238-4269.

North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC)
1-612-644-3036   www.nacac.org

National Adoption Center
1-800-to-Adopt     www.adopt.org/