He said it’s up to me

That may sound good at first.  It sounds good because  he’s recognizing that you have a choice, and that you can’t be forced into something you don’t want to do.  It sounds like freedom.  It sounds like respect.  It sounds like acknowledgement of your rights, of your power and control over the situation.

Then how come it doesn’t feel good?  Why did your heart ache when he said, “It’s up to you.”?

When he said, “It’s up to you,” it meant that he is walking away from any way of trying to influence you  not to have an abortion.. This is his baby too — as much as yours.  Yet he is letting you decide whether to let his baby live or die without his input.  He is not rushing forward to embrace you, to tell you he’ll be there for you and the baby, to promise to stand by you, to make sure you both have what you need.  He is not trying to protect you from having to go through an abortion procedure with all of its risks.  He is not trying to protect his own child from a horrific death.  He is walking away, leaving you alone to make one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make in your life, and in the life of this child.

Time will tell whether your baby’s father’s character develops and whether he’ll mature into a responsible adult and a good partner for life.  But your decision about your child has to be made now.  It has to be made by you, her mother.  For now, take your baby’s father out of the equation.  Set him aside.  Think about how an abortion will effect your life.  Think about how it will effect your child’s. Make a decision you can both live with.