You have survived a vicious attack. Your rights were violated. You said “NO” and your voice was not heard.
- Rape is a vicious assault on a woman.
- This is not your fault in any way.
- You bear no responsibility for this attack.
- You have shown courage in the face of despair.
- You survived.
First and foremost, how are you doing after this traumatic experience?
- Do you feel safe?
- Were you able to report this experience?
- Would you feel safer if you did report the rape?
- Consider reporting the rape regardless of whether you know the assailant or not.
- Is there someone you are able to confide in that can offer comfort and a listening ear if you were not able to report it?
- Consider calling 888-598-5491 to talk to an objective person who understands your circumstances.
- Have you sought medical care?
- To protect yourself and your future health, you should be tested for STI’s (Sexually Transmitted Illnesses).
- You can be treated and put that behind you.
- This will relieve your stress level.
Will abortion take away this trauma?
Answer: Rape is such a vile act; some women wish to erase all evidence this vicious attack occurred.
- Some consider abortion to erase the rape.
- Abortion will not erase the pain of a forcible imposition of a man for sex.
- Abortion cannot remove the emotional scar of a violent trauma.
- Abortion adds more trauma and more wounds to heal.
- There is help to heal the emotional wounds following rape.
Why should I feel guilty if I want an abortion?
Answer: Many women feel guilt and regret following an abortion decision. All the emotions post abortive women feel are compounded in a rape situation because the woman is depressed and angry before the abortion takes place.
- Women can experience guilt of another kind.
- Some women feel the baby they were pregnant with died because of their anger and resentment of the man who raped her.
- These feelings are understandable.
- Abortion does not relieve this anxiety.
- Abortion further wounds the woman making her recovery more difficult.
- Rape is done to women.
- There is no responsibility.
- Abortion following rape is a choice made while the woman is feeling anger, resentment, fear, and depression.
- Can a decision made under duress be “freely” chosen?
- A woman who survives the rape but does not get help with the emotions following this trauma, gives the rapist emotional control over her life.
Is this baby a reminder of him?
Answer: The child growing in your uterus is imprinted with your genetic code, blueprinted with your personality traits and your DNA. This is your child.
- When a woman finds out she is pregnant, she is the decision maker.
- This is her baby, her decision.
- Is a rape situation any different?
- Is this her baby?
- Why do people treat rape differently?
- To give the rapist ownership in the making of this decision gives him power over her life that he doesn’t deserve.
How can I heal and move forward with my life?
Answer: Surround yourself with people who understand and support your privacy, your needs, and your decision.
- Resist the temptation to destroy part of you to deny part of him.
- He is not worth it.
- He is dysfunctional and a failure.
- Seek counseling.
- Seek out concerned people who can listen to your story with compassion, concern and empathy
- Seek people in your life who respect your choices and can provide needed help
- Seek out people who can help you work through these concerns:
o Do you have a safe place to stay?
o Do you have a plan to stay with someone if you are feeling unsafe?
o Do you have a restraining order?
o Do you need to learn more about getting a restraining order?
o Do you need to report the rape?
o Do you need a friend to go with you if you choose to report the rape?
Will I resent this baby if I choose to not have an abortion?
Answer: Women have shared that giving birth had a healing effect on their recovery. They were able to move on sooner and grow stronger.
- This baby is truly part of you.
- She will depend on you to keep her safe.
- She will be a source of unconditional love for you.
- Because of your love and compassion, she lives, and your lives are forever changed.
How will my friends and family react to this baby?
- Answer: The Focus Needs to Be on YOU!! Resist the temptation to give credibility to what other people may say.
- Follow your instincts.
- You are your own person.
- You will live with your decision.
- You cannot be a strong, capable individual if you make decisions based on the well-meant but superficial opinions of others.
- They may look for easy solutions to ease your pain.
- They may not be able to look at what is healthy for you as a whole person.
- They may lack the insight to look at how abortion affects your life after the decision.
- The depression following abortion may be unknown to them.
- They may be processing the rape themselves and looking for a option they think will fix the situation.
- They may be unaware that abortion adds to a woman’s guilt, depression, and despair.
You, and only you, have control over your life, your decisions, and the life growing inside your uterus.
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Recommended viewing:
Rebecca Kiessling shares her story and urges Senators to support HB 1450. Research studies regarding the outcomes of pregnant women who aborted vs. those who gave birth are shared.