You have survived a vicious attack. Your rights were violated. You said “NO” and your voice was not heard.

• Rape is a vicious assault on a woman.
• This is not your fault in any way.
• You bear no responsibility for this attack.
• You have shown courage in the face of despair.
• You survived.

First and foremost, how are you doing after this traumatic experience?

• Do you feel safe?
• Were you able to report this experience?
• Would you feel safer if you did report the rape?
• Consider reporting the rape regardless of whether you know the assailant or not.
• Is there someone you are able to confide in that can offer comfort and a listening ear if you were not able to report it?
• Consider calling 888-598-5491 to talk to an objective person who understands your circumstances.
• Have you sought medical care?
• To protect yourself and your future health, you should be tested for STI’s (Sexually Transmitted Illnesses).
• You can be treated and put that behind you.
• This will relieve your stress level.

Will abortion take away this trauma?

Answer: Rape is such a vile act; some women wish to erase all evidence this vicious attack occurred.

• Some consider abortion to erase the rape.
• Abortion will not erase the pain of a forcible imposition of a man for sex.
• Abortion cannot remove the emotional scar of a violent trauma.
• Abortion adds more trauma and more wounds to heal.
• There is help to heal the emotional wounds following rape.

Why should I feel guilty if I want an abortion?

Answer: Many women feel guilt and regret following an abortion decision. All the emotions post abortive women feel are compounded in a rape situation because the woman is depressed and angry before the abortion takes place.

• Women can experience guilt of another kind.
• Some women feel the baby they were pregnant with died because of their anger and resentment of the man who raped her.
• These feelings are understandable.
• Abortion does not relieve this anxiety.
• Abortion further wounds the woman making her recovery more difficult.
• Rape is done to women.
• There is no responsibility.
• Abortion following rape is a choice made while the woman is feeling anger, resentment, fear, and depression.
• Can a decision made under duress be “freely” chosen?
• A woman who survives the rape but does not get help with the emotions following this trauma, gives the rapist emotional control over her life.

Is this baby a reminder of him?

Answer: The child growing in your uterus is imprinted with your genetic code, blueprinted with your personality traits and your DNA. This is your child.

• When a woman finds out she is pregnant, she is the decision maker.
• This is her baby, her decision.
• Is a rape situation any different?
• Is this her baby?
• Why do people treat rape differently?
• To give the rapist ownership in the making of this decision gives him power over her life that he doesn’t deserve.

How can I heal and move forward with my life?

Answer: Surround yourself with people who understand and support your privacy, your needs, and your decision.

• Resist the temptation to destroy part of you to deny part of him.
• He is not worth it.
• He is dysfunctional and a failure.
• Seek counseling.
• Seek out concerned people who can listen to your story with compassion, concern and empathy
• Seek people in your life who respect your choices and can provide needed help
• Seek out people who can help you work through these concerns:
  o  Do you have a safe place to stay?
  o  Do you have a plan to stay with someone if you are feeling unsafe?
  o  Do you have a restraining order?
  o  Do you need to learn more about getting a restraining order?
  o  Do you need to report the rape?
  o  Do you need a friend to go with you if you choose to report the rape?

Will I resent this baby if I choose to not have an abortion?

Answer: Women have shared that giving birth had a healing effect on their recovery. They were able to move on sooner and grow stronger.

• This baby is truly part of you.
• She will depend on you to keep her safe.
• She will be a source of unconditional love for you.
• Because of your love and compassion, she lives, and your lives are forever changed.

How will my friends and family react to this baby?

• Answer: The Focus Needs to Be on YOU!! Resist the temptation to give credibility to what other people may say.
• Follow your instincts.
• You are your own person.
• You will live with your decision.
• You cannot be a strong, capable individual if you make decisions based on the well-meant but superficial opinions of others.
• They may look for easy solutions to ease your pain.
• They may not be able to look at what is healthy for you as a whole person.
• They may lack the insight to look at how abortion affects your life after the decision.
• The depression following abortion may be unknown to them.
• They may be processing the rape themselves and looking for a option they think will fix the situation.
• They may be unaware that abortion adds to a woman’s guilt, depression, and despair.

You, and only you, have control over your life, your decisions, and the life growing inside your uterus.

Related Questions:

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Rebecca Kiessling shares her story and urges Senators to support HB 1450. Research studies regarding the outcomes of pregnant women who aborted vs. those who gave birth are shared.