God does forgive someone who is truly repentant. Part of being repentant is confessing that you did something wrong and being truly sorry for having done it. The other part is promising that you won’t repeat that wrong.
A person who says ahead of time, “God will forgive me for something wrong I’m going to do,” does not have a repentant heart. Thinking that way is a manipulation of God’s merciful love.
- A woman may be sad that she feels she “has to have” an abortion.
- She may dread the idea of having one.
- She may “feel bad” about the fact that she feels it “must be done.”
- She may say to herself, “I’m sorry I have to do this.”
That is not being repentant. Those are ways of saying that she is going to do something she knows is wrong, but she has her reasons, and God will forgive her afterwards. How can she be repentant of something she is trying to justify at the same time? She can’t. Satisfying what she sees as her need supersedes her concern about everything and everyone else, including her God and what He has to say about it.
One survey of post-abortion women showed that on the average, women stay in denial for five years after their abortions. Other statistics extend this period for an additional 7-10 years. Just as no one can be pre-repentant, no woman can guarantee before an abortion that she will be repentant afterwards. She may well be in the vast majority of women who are in denial after their abortions. A woman in denial of having done something wrong can’t be repentant of it.
Picture a woman praying to God after her abortion. She wants to tell God she’s sorry she had an abortion. But she has the additional nagging memory that before she had the abortion, she flaunted His forgiveness of it in His face. Her thoughts and actions said to Him, “I’m going to have an abortion and you’re going to forgive me!”
This is an exploitation of God’s tender, merciful relationship with her. She is using God’s forgiveness as a source of strength and courage to commit a sin against Him. For this person to be sincerely repentant there needs to be sorrow – not only for aborting her child, but for exploiting God’s forgiving nature as well.
Sadly, research has found that many women aren’t sorry after their abortions, even when they planned to be. Most women feel relieved that it’s over. They have bad memories of their abortions but still feel they made the right choice because their circumstances justified it. Now that it’s over, they’re anxious to forget that it ever happened. They work hard at burying those memories. They are eager to “move on with life.” As the years and decades go by, that energy begins to falter and the memories start creeping back. Then they try to make themselves feel better by telling themselves that they had to have that abortion, just like you’re telling yourself now. They are still far from being repentant.
Please don’t rebel against God. Don’t abuse His forgiving nature. He did not send your child into the world to punish you or to make your life miserable. He considers all children as blessings, and has promised that all things will work out for your good. You know that God has commanded us not to kill. He gave us that Commandment as a protection – not just for the baby you’re thinking of aborting, but for you too. He knows how much it will hurt you to be the Executioner of your own child. He knows about the pain, guilt, and remorse that will come flooding into your life if you abort your baby. He wants to shield you from that.
Instead of praying to God to forgive you after you have the abortion you’re planning, pray to Him to help you now, as you go through your pregnancy. He knows how hard this is for you, and will bless your obedience. And he will forgive you for ever having thought of aborting your baby. Just ask Him.
For anyone who has already had an abortion:
If you planned to repent for an abortion before having one, you are not without hope for God’s mercy. His love and mercy is without limit. You are welcome to contact http://www.noparh.org/ as a first step to come to peace with your God about your abortion.
For anyone still considering having an abortion:
You still have the chance and the choice to honor your relationship with your God. You can continue your pregnancy and give your baby life. Call your local Pregnancy Help Center. They have so many ways to help you. People are amazed to learn how much help and support there is in the community for pregnant women. You don’t have to do this alone.
To learn what a Pregnancy Help Center is and how to contact one near you, please refer to this page on our website.